Back in 1989 we got our first taste of American Gladiators when there was nothing else to watch on a Saturday. Somehow, for 8 seasons, spandex-clan average Joes and Janes competed against spandex American flag-wearing bodybuilders with silly names (Blaze, Zap, Tower, Sky) in such “classic” games as The Assault, The Wall, Hang Tough, and Joust.
I fully admit as a pre-teen dude, I watched the show and I remember my friend had action figures. But I sure didn’t need a reboot 11 years later.
In 2008, NBC brought it back — in prime time no less — with Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali as hosts. New Gladiators such as Crush, Titan, Hellga, Justice wore equally awful outfits and trash talked a new round of relatively active people who wanted to be on TV. After just 16 episodes, American Gladiators went back to being nothing more than a memory…
Not for long. Come 2011, we may have to joust a third incarnation; this time a full-fledged feature film. Peter Iliff, of Point Break and Varsity Blues fame, is penning this horrific idea. And I do mean “idea” as there isn’t much of a plot yet — not that I expect there ever will be. According to /film:
“The film will be set inside the world created in the tv show and will present ‘a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters’ with the ‘Herculean characters as superheroes.’”
I can see it now: to combat the evil forces of terrorism, the government unleashes their secret military project, the American Gladiators. We watch as they shoot tennis balls out of air canons and make those America hating bastards run up a downward moving conveyor belt!
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by Andrew Richards
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